Unzerbrechlich
by FragileYetEerie
Summary: If living with someone hurts like hell, but living without them is impossible, being happy can be a little complicated. Sebastian x Ciel / Some mature themes like drug abuse and self harm.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! :3 **

**I'm so sorry, I have neglected fanfiction for almost the whole summer. Why? I pretty much don't have any excuse other than the following; I've been in such a bad mood the whole time, because of a certain person, that I spent my summer listening to sad music and making excuses not to go out. I know, I'm terrible.**

**Buuut I'm better again and gonna update all of my stories within the next 2 weeks I hope! (: **

**Plus here's a new one. I don't know how to feel about it, I just got the idea somehow and thought I would write it down and see if anyone likes it. If so, tell me please. **

**This scene here takes place like in the middle of the actual story, so it's not really the first chapter, if you get what I mean, which you probably do because you're awesome. :3 Uhm yeah, it's a bit sad, I guess and I felt sorry when writing this. Drugs, self harm, psychological stuff & such, feel warned!  
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**And obviously it's gonna be Sebastian x Ciel. **

**Enjoy, hopefully!**

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**_Also, the first chapter might be a bit confusing, but everything will be explained in the later chapters._**

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When thinking about big cities, you usually have that picture in mind; a famous sight you've heard about, a special atmosphere that you've read about, maybe even a scene from a movie or something alike. But of course, that doesn't really have a lot to do with the everyday life of the people living there.

If this would have been the case, Ciel Phantomhive would be sitting in an old fashioned cafe somewhere close to the Big Ben, wearing expensive brand name clothes, and lazily drinking a bit of black tea with milk from a fine china cup, while thinking about the queen. Sadly, such clichés weren't always true. And Ciel would have rather been there than where he was right now. He would have rather been anywhere else in the world, to be honest. And still, it was his choice to do this and the doubts he had weren't enough for him to stop now.

It had been an exhausting day for the thin boy; even though he was good at acting strong and prideful, that facade didn't help him at the end of the day, when he would break down in tears and feel more alone than ever. Lately, that happened a lot. He personally hated himself for being so weak at times, 'weakness doesn't get you anywhere', was what his father had always told him, after all. He closed his eyes for a second, today there were no tears. If you'd look him closely in the eye, all you could see was fear, slight panic even, but there was a hint of determination visible in those big blue eyes, that had once shined so brightly with curiosity and happiness.

A shaky hand removed the long sleeve of his warm, black jacket to reveal skin so pale, it looked almost unhealthy. He frowned, staring at his own skin as if he had never seen it before. In the bright yellowish neon light, he really _did_ look unhealthy. Not that it surprised him a lot, it just saddened him a small bit, how things had come to this.

But no, he would not allow himself to back down now. He had wanted to do this before and there had always been something that had eventually held him back. The one person who hurt him on a daily basis, without even knowing. The one person, his mood, and maybe even his life, depended on. Sebastian.

But now Ciel had fucked up anyway, he had been so silly all the time. Now, that voice in the back of his head, that told him to stop this, would shut down. It would _have to_. It didn't matter anymore and Ciel thought of himself as an idiot for having thought that Sebastian would ever care for him like that in the first place. He didn't. So this was alright. It had to be, so he reasoned, completely ignoring all the conflicting thoughts in his head. It would only be this once, just because today had been such a bad day. Others said it would help, so trying would do no harm, would it?

The scene of what he had witnessed before came to his mind again and it was the last confirmation needed.

As he drew the yellowish brown fluid up into the syringe, his thoughts completely shut down. Ciel's heart beat faster than usually and his hands were so shaky, he wasn't even so sure anymore if this would work. Innocent blue eyes wandered to his arm again and through the thin, white skin, it wasn't too hard to pick out the most visible vein in his arm and he swallowed, remembering how he would always freak out when his mother dragged him to a doctor as a kid. Back then, syringes had been the worst thing the boy could have imagined. Well, syringes, clowns and monsters. But out of these, the visits at the doctor had been the only thing, that actually ever hurt him, the most realistic fear.

Now here he was, using the syringe for nothing healthy at all and again, if only for a second, the doubts came back, with full force. The way his mother would look at him, if she could see him right now. How she would cry out of sorrow and disappointment.

But that didn't stop him, it was too late for that. Ciel had chosen this way of life, this here was just another tiny step downwards, and now that was what he got for it. Guilt, self hatred and a broken heart.

Without further pause, he injected the heroine into his blood, shutting his eyes tightly. And just a second later, he felt it. Nausea for the shortest moment, and then the most blissful apathy ever and a joyful smile arrived on the boy's lips as his breathing became slower by the second. He knew he was a wreck and he didn't even care. For real, the boy was far from innocent and at the age of only 16, he had already done things, others wouldn't ever have to experience in a whole life time. But never until now, had he believed that such a small bit of powder, less than a gram, could let everything around him disappear just like that. That easily. Others had told him, but this.. No, _this _was more than he had expected. He didn't even notice as his body suddenly became too heavy to carry for his already weakened legs and he slid down the wall of the public toilet at the station in one of the not so well known parts of London, where he used to hang out with friends, if one would call them that.

Usually, he would have freaked out by now, because of all the germs and the dirt in here, but no. He didn't mind.

Minutes ticked by as the boy just sat there, waiting for nothing in particular and still feeling like he couldn't sit still at all, a small smile on thin lips. It was only after half an hour that he actually felt able to stand up and hold balance. Everything was blurry and at the same time, it hadn't felt this clear in years. And through all the strange thoughts that crossed his mind, he actually decided to act one plan out. Namely, he wanted to get out of here.

Not bothering to pick the syringe, that had fallen down at some point, or clean anything up, he dragged himself to the door, needing a few moments to open it and he left, unsure of where to go. After what he had just done and what had happened earlier, the boy didn't really have it in him to see Sebastian right now. No, he'd just walk around and search for the others, they had to be somewhere close, after all. They always were here.

The people who were now his friends, were persons that he would have pitied some time ago. Not really having anywhere to go, the kids often met to talk or support each other, as best as they could. Each one had their own story and it was because of their past, that a lot of them actually had deep relationships. However, some just met to exchange drugs or insults.

Ciel, not being one to talk to others, when not talked to by them, only considered 4 of them his true friends. Or maybe three. He really wasn't sure what exactly Sebastian could be considered at this point.

And now, that he had finally made his way through the luckily not too crowded place, (while trying to behave normally) one of these 4 had already spotted him and was on her way over. Lizzy. Just as he made himself ready for one of the dreaded hugs that could possibly kill you, the blonde stopped to stare at him.

And Ciel couldn't help but feel as though she knew everything, Elizabeth just was that kind of girl. She understood things about you, you didn't understand yourself.

"Ciel?" she asked, sounding more than concerned already and he tried not to look her in the eye. Something was up, she could tell from just looking at the blue haired boy, but she had yet to figure out what exactly it was. "Sebastian's searching for you.. Are you, are you alright? Ciel? You look like a corpse, are you sick? Wait.." The innocent talk she had started came to an abrupt halt, when she took a closer look at the boy, who was barely taller than her. The pure fact that he hadn't reacted in some way at the mentioning of Sebastian's name, showed that something was pretty wrong here. That he unconsciously held his arms where he had injected the syringe earlier didn't help. Green eyes looked right into blue ones and Ciel couldn't help but stare down at his feet, his body becoming heavier and heavier as all the impressions slowly sank in. But it was too late, Elizabeth was not an idiot, nor was she inexperienced with living on the streets and she immediately understood.

And that was when Ciel received a slap. And to both of their surprise, he barely noticed, mind still too cloudy to transport the information.

"Are you _fucking _kidding me, Ciel? H, you? Really, have you forgotten all about Soma? Are you fucking serious, do you want to fucking die too? You promised me you would never try something like that again!" Ciel was not sure if he had ever seen Elizabeth so disappointed about something, her eyes were teary and it hurt him just to look at her. Well, one situation he did remember, but that was some time ago and thinking about it, he understood why she worried about this so much, maybe she thought that this was his goal again. No. He refused to think about it any further, the guilt too much to deal with now. He hadn't wanted this to happen at all. And how had she even noticed it that fast, was it so obvious? Didn't he act normal? The boy found himself wishing he would have looked into the mirror before leaving the room.

He raised lifted one hand, stroking the skin that had been slapped. "I.. no, I did not.."

No more words were exchanged other than a cold 'follow me' and Elizabeth, who insisted on being called 'Lizzy', dragged Ciel away to some unknown destination. Suddenly feeling unbelievably tired, the boy didn't even fight back a slight bit. He felt like a lost puppy and that's exactly what he looked like.

And it was only a minute later, that he regretted not having fought back. Because he could already see that much from far away; within the mass of boys and girls around his age, there stood Sebastian. Of course. And Ciel's heart began pounding a bit faster again. Was the world against him? Half an hour without sorrows and this was the prize? Disappointing Elizabeth and now.. Sebastian?! The boy swallowed, for a moment, he considered to just stop breathing forever.

What he hadn't expected though, was the outburst that would follow now.

"YOU!" Elizabeth pointed at Sebastian. Everyone stared, but that didn't stop her. "Move your fucking ass over here." Never had Ciel heard the girl using such a creepy mad voice and to be honest, it gave him goosebumps. Or maybe that was because of the drug? He didn't know. All he could do was stare at Sebastian slowly moving closer, looking genuinely confused and a bit pissed at Lizzy, until he locked eyes with Ciel and he gave him that usual warm smile that made the younger's stomach do backflips. Ciel couldn't help but smile, all the trouble forgotten as he looked into those eyes. Until a voice cut through, that is.

"Look at what you did, if it weren't for you, he'd be fucking fine.. Do you think this is funny?" Elizabeth freaked out, anger evident in her voice. She had never really liked Sebastian, but today, it was too much for her to keep quiet about it. She did like Ciel after all and what had been happening with him over the past few month worried her more than it should.

"I'm so sick of you, stop smiling like that now. You're the fucking reason, Ciel wanted to end his life, do you even understand? Because of you, his life is like this now. Do you simply not care or are you unable to notice when there is something wrong?" she finished, all the previous worry having turned into aggression. Maybe she really did care too deeply for Ciel, however, no words could describe her hate toward Sebastian right now. Sebastian's eyes went wide by the time Elizabeth's words slowly died down and turned into sobs, whereas Ciel had trouble staying awake all of a sudden and felt like he would faint anytime soon. Maybe not just because of the drug.

Both knew there was at least some truth in Elizabeth's statement, but neither had expected this to ever be spoken out by anybody.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, hallo, konnichiwa. :3**

**I've decided to continue this fic, so here's the second chapter. Hope you all like it and it's not too bad.**

**Since there are so many fics I need to continue atm, I can't really say when exactly which fic will be updated. But I kind of feel really ambitious when writing this, soo.. whatever. But I'll continue all of them, it might just take me a little longer, since life has been so busy, lately. **

**Thanks a lot to those who read it, gave me some kind of feedback or anything at all. You know that I love you all, guys. Shut up, I'm not creepy.**

** promocat: I wanted to thank you in general for always taking your time to read and review, thanks a lot. :3 And well, it's kind of complicated, but I'll try and explain what exactly made him like this. And yeah, I think so too.. Lizzy might be a bit annoying, but she's actually a nice girl, after all. **

** 7h3M1..(the one with the complicated name. :'D) Love that song! And thanks. (:**

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Chapter 2

Snowflakes fell from the sky, giving the cold evening somewhat of a nostalgic feel. The night was perishing and even though he was wearing a rather thick jacket, Vincent Phantomhive was cold. December in England was hell. After having been on a business trip for more than a week, he had finally returned to England. If it weren't for this special date, he would have probably stayed abroad for more than just a week; he had to manage a company, after all. Truthfully, he had spent less and less time with his family and found spending time elsewhere to be less exhausting than having to deal with his wife. Their relationship clearly had changed over the past few months, even though both kept pretending everything was perfect. They didn't want any rumors.

At the Phantomhive manor, hidden deep in the forest, miles away from London, the rest of the Phantomhive family, as well as their butlers, had a busy day. Throughout the day, many relatives had visited them, wanting to congratulate the _'little sunshine'_, as Rachel called her son sometimes to annoy him. And there was some truth in that statement. Ciel was a tiny boy, whereas lots of his peers had grown up so suddenly, his height hadn't changed at all that much. The title _sunshine_ suited him insofar, that his smile instantly made you feel better, once you looked at it. He was different from his peers not only considering his height, but also his personality. Normal boys at the age of 12 would do anything to popular and cool. He didn't. Maybe it was because he was a bit of a antisocial, spoiled brat, who enjoyed material things, rather than actual friends. His parents were rich and they had wanted their kid, as well as everyone else, to know just that. So he had spent an isolated, but carefree life, with everything he needed being served on a silver platter.

However, even if he didn't really have friends, he had his family. And that was the most important to him. One day, he wanted to take over the Funtom Toy Company. He had always looked up to his dad. So now, as he was sitting on his favorite armchair, looking out of the window, he found himself bored, awaiting the arrival of him. Since it was his birthday, the man had, despite his full schedule, promised to actually come home. And Ciel loved the thought of spending some quality time with his family, not just his mom, for one.

When his father came back home from his trips, he would bring Ciel's mother roses and his son would get some souvenir from whatever country he had been to. The collection already involved some snow globes from various big cities, tea from China and India, Swiss chocolate and lots of other small things.

A knock on the door distracted him from the falling snow he had been watching pensively for almost half an hour now, and he gently answered, his eyes not leaving the window. Through the perfectly clean glass he could see the dimly lit driveway perfectly. "Come in."

The door opened, revealing his mother carrying a small cup of his favorite tea. He could already smell it from afar, Earl Grey. Ciel smiled brightly, and his braces didn't make it any less of a contagious gesture. Gratefully he took the tea and suddenly frowned. "Moooom~? Shouldn't dad be here already?" he asked, impatient as always. The young looking woman smiled. If you looked at the both, you could hardly believe her to be his mom. While she had a light blonde hair, Ciel's hair was black, depending on the light a bit blue, even. And even though both had blue eyes, they didn't look anything alike, really. "Well, it's been snowing all day, you know the street that leads to our house.., such a pain in the winter, really. Guess that's the prize you have to pay for living in a quiet manor in the forest, instead of a noisy flat in town." The boy nodded stiffly, silently hoping that his dad didn't have some kind of an accident. No, he told himself. This was his birthday._ On birthdays, only good things happen_, he reassured himself.

It took another ten minutes for Vincent to finally arrive, the ringing of the bell relieving Ciel greatly but not really changing Rachel's tense mood. She had been like this the whole day; women could be strange, sometimes. However, within just a second, the boy had ran downstairs, opening the door and hugging his dad tightly before he even had a chance to realize what was going on. Vincent chuckled, wondering if it was normal for a boy Ciel's age to still be so clingy. "Ciel," the man began in the authoritative tone he had acquired from years of being the boss of a big company. "Dad!" Ciel smiled brightly, making Vincent's lips curl up a tiny bit, as well. After shoving Ciel to the side slightly, so Vincent could close the door, he took a small package out of his jacket, handing it to the boy. "Happy birthday, son," he commented. Ciel only shortly wondered why his dad suddenly called him son, he never used that word, usually. And why he had that package in his jacket, rather than his suitcase. He also briefly wondered, why there were no flowers for his mom, but before really thinking further about either of those things, he focused on another; unwrapping the beribboned package.

And within seconds, the paper was falling to the ground, and Ciel took a moment to look at the expensive looking box. Big blue eyes searched for some sort of confirmation on his father's face, for some reason. He smiled and Ciel happily opened it, revealing a silver ring with some blue jewel. For a second, he eyed it confusedly, but then turned to his dad, thanking him with a shy smile and trying the ring on. It was far too big for any of his thin fingers except for his thumb. There, it fit perfectly. And it somewhat suited him, he mused.

After the exchange of greetings and the present, Ciel dragged his father into the big living room, where a big, red fire burned in the carmine, keeping the room warm. "Mom, look what daddy got me!" He ran towards his mom, almost tackling her. Rachel just smiled tiredly, complimenting on how it looked really great on Ciel. And only then, the boy actually realized something; his parents hadn't acknowledged each other's presence at all. Not a hello, not a hug, nor a short kiss like usually. No flowers. He looked at the two questioningly.

For a few minutes, he waited, but nothing happened.

When he understood that neither seemed to feel the need to say anything, a thick atmosphere in the room, he wondered. Not only what was wrong, but how could he help it? He really couldn't stand this feeling fo confusion and uncertainty, it was a foreign emotion to him. Maybe if he left them alone for the evening, so they could drink their usual glass of wine and make out or whatever gross things, it would help? Or maybe by forcing them to talk to each other, everything would become less awkward? But then again, what if he was just imagining things and nothing was actually wrong, at all? Then, forcing them to talk to each other would seem more than just strange.

Well, it was evening, anyway. So he let a kind of faked yawn out, half heartedly smiling at the two. They stood farther apart than usually. Or was he imagining things by now? "Sorry, I'm so tired… Dad, you can tell me about your trip tomorrow, I think I'm just going to sleep now." He smiled, kind of fake, once more.

After a second, Rachel answered, while Vincent just kept quiet. "Oh, of course, honey. Want some tea, hot milk with honey or anything?" Ciel shook his head. "No, thanks." Both of his parents wished him a good night and Ciel turned around, leaving the room with tiny steps, confused about everything for the moment being.

He sat down on his bed, frowning at how the mood had dropped so suddenly.

When he had put his sleeping clothes, soft shorts, a wide shirt and cozy socks, on, he still couldn't sleep. He kept tossing and turning. After one hour, he finally gave up on even trying to sleep. He couldn't deny that he was curious what exactly was going on down there. Not only curiosity, it was genuine worry, to be honest. Since his bedroom was on the other side of the manor, which he himself had always considered a bit too big, he wouldn't be able to hear them or spy on them in any way from up here.

So, there was only one option left. Sneaking out of his room without making a lot of noise. Which he did. Luckily, the fuzzy socks made it a bit easier to walk down the old wooden stairs without making as much as a sound. While on the way down there, his heart had decided to beat painfully in his chest and he wasn't sure, why exactly. Excitement? Worry? Fear? Maybe all of that.

When he finally arrived in front of the living room, he was grateful, that the door was still slightly opened from when he had left 2 hours ago. But to be honest, even if it were closed, he would still be able to hear them. He had already heard the slight sound of voices, when climbing down the stairs, after all. And on his way, they had constantly become louder. But until now, he had wanted to deny that his parents were actually having a fight. And the quiet sort of a fight, really. Never ever had he heard or seen the two fighting, to him they were the picture of a perfect couple. They were what had always come to his mind, when he imagined something like 'true love.' But maybe, just maybe, things really hadn't been this perfect, all the time.

"Well, go and fuck some of your whores, then! You know what? I don't even care anymore!"

"Goddamn, calm the fuck down, do you want to wake Ciel up?" the man answered with a question, clearly avoiding to give a direct answer.

"Oh, don't act like the caring father now, it's not as if you're ever at home, anyways."

"Well, maybe that's because I have to see your face when I come here?"

A pause followed, and the boy could only hear the sobbing of Ciel's mom, along with the word 'Asshole'. At that very moment, it felt like, as much as it had beat before, his heart had now fully stopped moving. The information was registered by his brain, and that was it. No feelings, no crying, just shock, disbelief.

"Well, if you hate it so much, you don't have to worry about ever seeing me again, I'm done with this shit, I'm done with you." These words, so coldly uttered by his mother were the last thing he heard before he ran back up to his room, uncaring of whether he made a sound or not, this time.

When he arrived at his room, he instantly crawled under the thick, blue blanket in his bed. One sentence was in his mind for the next hours, until he fell into a nervous, nightmare filled sleep.

_Nothing bad ever happens on birthdays._ Oh, the irony.

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_**'**__There's no money_, _there's no possessions_. _Only obsession_, I don't need that shit.'  


A thin arm reached out from under the blanket, aiming to beat the alarm clock dead, if that would mean, that the day wouldn't have to start now. Ciel wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day. For the rest of his life.

**_'Take my money, take my obsession!'_**

"Damn.." he groaned as the thing just kept on assaulting his ears. No song in the world would ever be good enough to brighten up Ciel's mood in the morning. Finally, he managed to stop the alarm, his arm uselessly dropping onto the mattress again as soon as it had the chance. He hugged his blanket tighter. Waking up was definitely the worst thing of the day. Not only had he had trouble falling asleep, and had been lieing awake until 5 AM, no. It was not just that he was, as usually, extremely tired. It was rather, that he just didn't want to face the day.

He didn't want to meet his mother's new boyfriend.

After Ciel and his mom had moved out from the manor, or rather, had been forced to, it had been him and his mom. Alone. That had been three years ago, by now. And the thought made him more than slightly angry. It had been him, who had comforted his mother. It had been him, who had kept assuring her, that it didn't matter, that his father didn't want to provide them with anything at all. No money, no place to live. Later on, they had even found out, that he had, indeed, carefully planned for them to divorce long ago and had already arranged things so that he wouldn't have any trouble with supporting them financially, anyway. By now, his mother worked as a bartender, and they lived in one of the smallest apartments imaginable, that London had to offer. But he didn't blame her. For anything. After all, he knew how it had come to this. Nothing was her fault. Despite all the trouble they had gone through, their relationship had only become even more important, to both of them. They only had each other and Ciel would do anything for her. He would never let her down. Even if he himself hadn't gone through all this without being emotionally scarred, either. But he would not show that. Better suppressing his own feelings a bit, instead of making his mom worry. Some situations just didn't allow too many feelings. So he would smile occasionally. To help and support her.

And even if supporting his mother meant letting her make the same mistake again, eventually.

Well, he didn't know the man, Claude, yet, but honestly, he'd rather keep it that way. She had started meeting him some time ago, which had been enough of a shock to Ciel, at first. Despite it all, he still sometimes had that picture of a family in his head sometimes. Of his dad, who didn't even care enough, to look after him. He had a new wife. She already had a boy and a girl from an earlier relationship and had, surprise, been pregnant by Vincent, when his parents were still married. His dad had a new son. And he know, how much this had hurt his mom. Until she had met Claude, he had honestly been worried, she might commit suicide or anything. He wouldn't ever want to see his mother this weak, this broken, again. No, he would make sure that this new guy would never hurt her.

This thought in mind, he crept out of the bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly and hardly able to suppress the urge to just let himself fall back down and keep on sleeping. It was almost half past nine and as he opened the black curtains tiredly, the sun greeted him way too brightly.

When he was younger, he had really enjoyed sunny weather. Well, all kinds of weather did have some positive aspects back then, actually. But not anymore.

Feeling a bit dead, he decided, that a shower would be the cleverest thing now. So, after grabbing some fresh clothes (some of his old, expensive clothes, in which he embarrassingly still fitted into), he went to the small bathroom he shared with his mom. Luckily, she was out buying some food for their guests later, so he wouldn't have to either wait or hurry.

When cold water hit skin that was still warm from being wrapped up in thick blankets just minutes ago, his blue eyes finally cracked open and he got ripped out of his dreamy state of mind. As much as he would love to get the new man out of the way, he would have to behave nicely today, so falling asleep on the table really wouldn't do. This was the reason, why he poured himself not only two, but three cups of coffee with an unhealthy amount of sugar cubes in them, today.

Being too lazy to make himself something proper to eat, he just chewed on a dry piece of bread.

The morning passed by rather slowly and Ciel wondered why his mother had stressed him about being up so early, anyway. He could have easily slept two or three more hours. However, after some time, the blonde finally came back, shopping bags in her hands and for the first time, since long, she had a big smile on her face.

Ever since she had started meeting Claude, he could tell that she had become better again. However, now that Ciel had finally agreed to meet him, after lots of convincing, she clearly was pleased. And as if that was not enough, he even agreed to help in the kitchen, today. Despite being maybe the most untalented cook ever, he managed to help her at least a bit, with easy things. Cutting potatoes and such.

"Do I really have to meet him?" whilst concentrating on not cutting his finger off, Ciel tried once again, to talk her out of it. He simply wasn't too sure this was such a great idea.

"Of course, that's the whole purpose of them coming here today!" she still smiled.

"Wait, mom. Them?" Blue eyes narrowed slightly, a confused expression on the boy's face and his mother could only chuckle.

"Well, yeah, uhm. It was.. kind of a surprise for you, actually."

"What? Don't tell me you actually have more than one boyfriend now?" A shocked expression was evident on Ciel's face and his mother broke out in laughter.

"God, you idiot, no."

"Well, what then?"

"Ciel, you've been so lonely lately.. I really appreciate what you do and did for me, but you can't just hang around with your mother all the time, you're 15, honey."

Ciel just eyed her suspiciously, wondering why she would say such silly things. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, Claude has a son who is about your age, and I thought, you two could maybe.. befriend?" Ciel swallowed dryly, already imaging the worst. What if Rachel would marry Claude and then he would have a 'brother'? And he didn't even want to begin and imagine what kind of guy that must be... Considering what others his age acted like, he could care less about befriending with one of those neanderthals, that spend their day talking about nothing but football and beer. And maybe porn. 'Probably a complete freak, anyway.' The image of a fat computer addict was on his mind, for some reason.

"Befriend?" he asked, eyes wide in horror.

"Yeah, you know it would do you good to get a new friend.. and that way, meeting Claude more fun for you." She smiled, trying hard to convince Ciel of her idea.

"Are you being honest? That's ridiculous."

"C'mon, please.. just try it. I'll make you a cake tomorrow." She tried, smiling.

"Tomorrow is Sunday, you always bake cakes on Sunday, anyway."

"Do you want me to threaten you that I won't make one, if you're not nice, instead?" she inquired.

"Mom, I'm not a baby, you know?"

"Good, so you'll try?"

"Yes, damn it."

"Language, honey."

Ciel almost smiled at what his mother considered bad language. If only she knew he had heard the both of them cursing like sailors all along, back then.

..

The knock on the door came at half past one. Rachel opened just a few seconds after, letting the two in with a soft smile on her lips and gasped in surprise, as she saw who she supposed was her boyfriend's son. They hadn't met at his or her apartment yet, and she had never met Sebastian, his son. But even though Claude was tall, already, standing next to his son, even he must feel kind of small. Or that was at least, what Rachel thought. Especially with her own son being only roughly 5 feet tall, thus a good few inches smaller than her. She stopped staring like that and turned to Claude. When his eyes met hers, they shone brightly and she gave Claude a quick kiss and greeted the both of them, introducing herself to Sebastian, who appeared to be quiet polite, despite his As the woman lead the two to the kitchen, she was quiet nervous. Claude really had become important to her and she didn't want anything to go wrong, today.

"God, mom, where have you put the wine glasses aga-" the boy's sentence came to a halt, when he suddenly turned around, losing his balance in the process and, without warning, fell right down, landing on his butt rather hardly, and he winced at the pain. However, within a second, his attention was back at the raven haired figure who had entered the room just seconds ago, followed by his mother. And now everyone was staring at him, as though it wasn't even their fault that he had fallen down in the first place.

Only then, he actually eyed Claude, a tall man with a rather good looking, despite a bit boring face, who had to work hard on not laughing at what had just happened, it seemed. His mother did just the same and the other guy seemed amused as well, thin lips displaying a sadistic smirk. Wait, what other guy?

No way. This guy didn't look like much of a computer addict or a Neanderthal at all. Quite the opposite. And the way he, or rather both of the strangers, looked at him, Ciel knew one thing for sure. He didn't like them one bit. Or maybe he was just annoyed because of the situations he was in right now. No way either of them would ever be able to look at him without having this embarrassing picture in mind, ever again. Awesome. This was exactly why being a loner was a better way to live.

"Are you.. okay, darling? That was quite a greeting, I have to say.." Rachel asked, snickering. A curt and stiff nod was the only answer. "Uhm well, Claude, Sebastian,.. this is my son, Ciel." She gestured toward him awkwardly.

"Ciel, these are Claude," she pointed at him,"and Sebastian."

Ciel buried his face in his hands, wishing the day was over already.


	3. Chapter 3

**Peace, guys. (: **

**So, here another chapter. Lalala, I'm really tired so please don't hate me if there are mistakes or anything. **

**Thanks to those who reviewed and follow and anything woaah, thanks soo much. :3  
And sorry, if the whole thing with the first chapter not actually being the first is confusing, I confuse myself sometimes. Often, actually.**

* * *

Sighing heavily, Ciel rubbed his face with his hands and then, moved his long bangs out of his big blue eyes, considering the situation once again. There stood his mother's new boyfriend and his son, who looked clearly different from what he had expected. He had seen Claude on photos, already. However, he wasn't sure about either of them. Call him suspicious or just paranoid, but just because the two didn't appear too bad yet, that didn't necessarily have to mean anything.

Trying hard not to show just how embarrassed he was, which was really unlike himself anyway, Ciel halfheartedly dusted non-existent dirt off his clothes. His mother had, as usually when someone would visit, cleaned the whole apartment. Ciel then slowly stood up. Finally, he forced an eerily friendly smile onto his thin, pale lips and turned to the two visitors. The boy was quite the actor, at times."Nice to meet you two," he spoke in a soft voice, that resembled his mother's a bit. He really didn't have a manly voice, but he secretly hoped that time would fix that, eventually.

He also hoped, that these two didn't plan on staying too long.

If he would just smile and act friendly, his mother would be happy and eventually, they would leave. This was what he looked forward to. He didn't enjoy company a lot and especially that smirk, that Sebastian still had on his lips, had the boy tensing up. Maybe he would have preferred an ugly dumb kid, instead of such a punk. He was not sure what to think about Sebastian, he looked like the guys his mother wouldn't let him spend any time with, usually.

The silence that had lingered in the room for just a few seconds, was then interrupted by Claude. "Nice to meet you, as well, Ciel." The boy wasn't sure whether Claude was being sincere or not. He decided to find out more about the man's motives later.

After being glared at by his father, Sebastian just nodded at Ciel, who looked away instantly, the second their eyes met. The color of Sebastian's irises confused him a bit, it was so different from every other eye color he had ever seen. Wine red, not as yellowish as Claude's eyes were. Ciel blamed it on the light, though. Sebastian had the same hair color as his father. Jet black hair, just messier and longer than his father's.

"Well, I hope you three are hungry." Rachel smiled happily, enjoying how that sounded. She could definitely get used to having someone other than just Ciel live with her, again. At least, if it was Claude. "Sure, darling," Claude answered, pressing a kiss on her lips. Ciel eyed the scene in mild disgust, a frown appearing on his face. He felt someone watching him again and instantly knew, who it was. The other two had their eyes closed whilst their disgusting make out session, after all. The boy shook his head slightly, all emotion disappearing from his face, then. Staring down at his black socks, as though they were interesting, he made his way over to the table, sitting down on the cushioned chair softly and staring at the old picture on the white wall, head resting on his right hand. While doing so, he could swear he felt these red eyes on him, again. For some reason, Ciel had decided to ignore Sebastian's stares.

Ciel's mother left the room, swaying her hips as she walked. 'God, I feel like I'm trapped in some bad Disney movie.' For the unteempth time that evening, Ciel sighed quietly.

It was awkward, to say the least. Everything. But how couldn't it be? Rachel was currently gone, getting the meal they had cooked and Ciel was left alone with the other two, not daring to look either in the eye. There was no talking between Sebastian and Claude, either, so Ciel decided to simply enjoy the silence. When his mother came back, he forced a smile on his lips again, not wanting to appear unfriendly in front of her.

"Do you want anything to drink? A glass of champagne? " the woman asked. When both, Sebastian and Claude nodded, she filled their glasses. Turning to her own sown, she offered, "Want a glass with some juice too, sweetie? This is a special day, after all." Ciel couldn't believe it. Sometimes she was so unbelievably embarrassing. He slowly turned to her, eyes wide and an almost scary expression on his face, that clearly said 'no, stop this.' His cheeks were just slightly red and Rachel chuckled. "Okay, okay, but you get only half a glass full, I wouldn't want you to get drunk, sweetie."

Well, sometimes Ciel found it cute, how his mother cared for him and his health deeply. But this was simply not cute or nice or anything. It was downright embarrassing. By now, not only Sebastian was clearly beyond amused, but Claude couldn't hide a snicker, either.

"Mooom, I don't think I would get drunk from one glass of champagne," he explained through his teeth, frustrated and bothered by the others staring at him. Oblivious to the fact that all the eyes were on them and that Ciel was not really at all comfortable about this, she continued. "Well, we wouldn't want to risk it, you know that you're unusually small for your age, so you can't handle that much alcohol." She smiled. Her son blushed even more, slightly biting his lip and giving up on the matter. Discussing with his mother was one of the most frustrating things in the world and he really would rather not discuss this when there were two strangers sitting on their kitchen table, about to laugh their ass off. His body height already bothered him enough without his mom walking around and happily talking about it in front of others.

"Fine, then."

A smile was the only answer given and Rachel filled his glass with some champagne and orange juice, too.

They ate in mostly silence, let alone the remarks Claude made about how good it tasted and the way, Rachel would giggle and tell him that it was nothing special. Really, the way his mother acted was so unbelievably cliché, Ciel had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at her. The woman herself didn't seem bothered at all. Not by the fact that Ciel didn't interact with either of the other two at all,neither by how how Ciel didn't seem to like the two a lot. 'That has to be what it's like, to be blinded by love,' Ciel thought bitterly. Nothing good would ever come from that, that much he knew already.

The two adults started to babble about how both of them loved cooking and how they really had to cook together and whatnot, and that was when Ciel officially decided, he had enough of this 'family dinner.'

"I'm going to my room, it was nice meeting you two, see you." He smiled and stood up quickly, hoping to get away with it that easily. He just wanted to sit in his room, read or maybe listen to music. Something like that, something that would calm him down and give him the chance to think about what had happened in the last half hour or so.

But no.

The second he was about to leave the room, Rachel seemed to snap out of her love trance or whatever that was, and stopped him. "But Ciel, the night's still young and we're having such a nice conversation.. and I'm sure Sebastian would much rather spend some time with you than sit here with two adults," she glanced at Sebastian shortly, not even awaiting his answer, then continuing, "and I want you two to befriend, I've already told you, it's not good to be so antisocial. You can show him your room." Ciel glared at her. Why did she have to say all these things about him now? And why did she have to suggest this? He put on a completely faked smile.

"Yeah, sure, sounds awesome. C'mon then, Sebastian," he didn't even have to bother to make it sound sarcastic, the lack of enthusiasm did just that already.

With that, Sebastian stood up and followed the smaller one out of the room. It took only about five steps, until they reached Ciel's bedroom, one of the advantages of a small apartment, compared to a mansion. The room itself was small, as well. Not the claustrophobic kind of small, but small nevertheless. Two of the walls were colored a bright turquoise and the others were kept a sterile white. The furniture was black, a choice that Ciel had almost instantly regretted after they had bought them, two years ago. Him being a hygiene freak, black furniture meant cleaning almost every day, since every slight bit of dust would be visible, instantly.

"You can, uhm, sit down anywhere here," the slate haired boy suggested, not used to this kind of situation at all. The last time, someone had visited, had been a while ago. Some kid from school, who he had to work with for some school project. Actually, they had planned on spending some time together then, but since Ciel wasn't good at interacting with anyone else than his mother, the other boy had, after a few hours of doing exactly nothing, complained how Ciel was too boring to spend time with, and after that, no one else from school or anything had come here.

Ciel's forehead wrinkled at the thought of it. Another reason why he didn't like people, they could say pretty insulting things without even noticing it. Because, even if he liked to act, and believe himself numb, he knew that in reality, that just wasn't the case. He might be prideful and arrogant at times, but he had feelings and he had to deal with them. So not getting close to people who could hurt them, was the most logical way to decrease the chance of anything hurting him, naturally.

And now, Sebastian was here, having just sat down on his bed. And once again, Ciel had to face the same problem; What would he say, what could he do? He had absolutely no idea how to establish a relationship of a friendly nature with that guy with the weird smirk and the even weirder eyes, so there was only one thing he could do.

He sat down on the black desk chair, facing Sebastian. When he found him looking directly in his eyes, he instead let his eyes wander to the window, pretending what happened outside was more interesting than Sebastian.

"Soo,just to make a few things clear. Well, I'm not so sure what exactly you expect me to do about this whole 'befriending' thing, but it seems my mom really likes your dad, so could we just get along with each other because I that would really make things a whole lot easier for the both of us and I guess that- Hey, what the hell?" Blue eyes widened and then narrowed as he turned back to face Sebastian just so he could make clear, that he was being honest. But what he saw didn't amuse him at all.

Sebastian had, without asking or anything, pulled out a cigarette, which he wasn't even allowed to possess considering his age, anyways, and lightened it. The raven haired man watched Ciel lazily, as he blew a cloud of gray smoke out. He either hadn't heard Ciel or he had, which was more likely, decided to simply ignore him.

"Sebastian, seriously, put that away, are you insane?" Ciel had to work hard on not sounding like he was about to freak out, which he was. He already had everything that might happen in mind. The apartment might burn down, his room might smell of smoke for the next weeks, maybe there would be ash on the floor! No was, this was going too far, and why didn't Sebastian even bother to respond?

Slowly growing impatient, Ciel decided to put an end to this, who the hell did this Sebastian think he was? He got up, making his way over to the other one, who still didn't seem bothered in the slightest.

"God, put that thing out in this instant! What is wrong with you? Do you even know how unhealthy that is?!" He tried grabbing it, but Sebastian moved his hand away, and so instead, Ciel's hand just met Sebastian's face. He pulled it away the second after, as if he had touched fire and burned his skin.

"Easy tiger. You don't want to burn your hand, do you?"

It was the first time this evening, that Ciel actually heard Sebastian's voice, or if he had before, he simply didn't remember. The voice was deep and manly, both of which Ciel's wasn't. It was quite the nice voice, to be honest. At the moment, that didn't help calm Ciel down, though. For some reason, he didn't know what to answer, and simply decided to go for trying to get the cigarette, again.

"Calm down, it's not like I'm burning anything," Sebastian commented at the useless trials of the younger. To him, the whole thing was terribly amusing. Well, Ciel in general was. How a boy his age managed to have such an innocence to him, it was in some way quite fascinating. But quite embarrassing, too. However, at least, things weren't as bad as he had imagined when his father had forced him to come here. Ciel promised to be quite the amusing toy.

"Just put it out, my mom is so going to freak out if my room smells like smoke," Ciel admitted, a pleading look on those blue eyes. Sebastian grinned. That puppy eye thing wouldn't work on him.

"How about we make a deal? You take a drag from the cigarette and I put it out? How does that sound?" Sebastian was testing Ciel. How far could he take this? Ciel dumbly stared at him, confused. "Why would you want me to smoke? No way, I have asthma," he stated, not so confidently. This really was the kind of guy, his mother wouldn't let him get in contact with usually. He was like a devil, trying to force some innocent human into something they normally would never do. But Ciel wouldn't. He had his principes and, even though that might sound ridiculous, he felt somewhat proud about that.

Sebastian took another drag.

"Just wanted to test you," he answered, smoothly.

Ciel's brows furrowed, the answer confusing him again. Did Sebastian do this on purpose? Judging by his smirk, yes. He did, indeed.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" He asked, sceptically.

Sebastian's smirk didn't leave his lips as he answered in that deep voice, "You really have the mind of a childish little girl. Seems like interacting and living with no one but your mom can turn a boy into that." He chuckled. "I mean, honestly, how do you manage to endure that?"

Ciel's face turned into a dark shade of pink at the accusation, at a loss of words again.

"I, I don't have the mind of a girl or anything, you jerk. I just have a working mind and thus, enough respect for my own body to not do such things because.." A cough followed as Sebastian suddenly moved closer to him and blew gray smoke into Ciel's open mouth, interrupting his speech. Their mouthes were only inches apart and Ciel's eyes widened in shock.

"You also have that habit of talking too much, just like a girl," Sebastian explained, pleased to have found another way to upset the other. Upsetting Ciel was just awfully amusing, for some reason.

Ciel, still coughing wildly, found it not at all amusing. "Idiot!" he exclaimed, only now realizing how he had sat on Sebastian's lap the whole time and had completely stopped even trying to steal his cigarette. That bastard had done this deliberately to distract him.

"See, you didn't die from the smoke." The older of the two couldn't help but let out a low laugh. He then threw the cigarette into a glass of water on Ciel's nightstand and it was pure luck, that it didn't fall down and burn either the blanket or the carpet.

"I almost died, you idiot! And just for the record, I didn't smoke, you've assaulted me with your smoke. And I don't talk too much", Ciel complained, frustrated by now.

"Sure you don't."

Without as much as a knock, the door flew open and Rachel stood there, eyeing the two adolescents confusedly. Both, Sebastian's and Ciel's eyes turned to face her, instantly.

"Uh, it seems you guys have already gotten closer to each other?!" She offered with a small smile, regarding the strange position the two were in, Ciel sitting half on Sebastian's lap and only half on the bed. "Claude says that you two have to leave already, Sebastian. Sorry, but you can, of course, visit again when you feel like it. I mean, not just with Claude, but you know, just to meet Ciel," she explained again, silently hoping that her son had finally found a friend. Looking at the two for a second again, she quickly added,"..as friends." Just so she knew there was nothing funny going on. After all, usually Ciel had quite the problem with people touching him and didn't usually get this close to someone he barely even knew.

She shrugged. No need to worry, this was crazy.

After a few seconds of Ciel glaring and Sebastian smirking, the younger had finally snapped out of it and stood up, his face coloring in the same tone of pink, it had a few times already, this evening.

"Uhm, yeah, we'll see," he offered, not wanting to get his mother's hope of him becoming 'social' up.

"Of course, I have a feeling we'll become best friends, already," Sebastian answered in an uncharacteristically cheerful tone.

Ciel's mom's smile grew bigger, her eyes shining brightly. She was happy for her son.

Sebastian stood up from his spot on the bed, standing in front of Ciel again. The latter just wondered when exactly he had felt this small for the last time, but he instead blamed it on Sebastian being irrationally tall.

"Goodbye, Ciel. See you soon, hopefully," Sebastian spoke and the genuine looking smile on his lips surprised Ciel, for some reason. It was like he did actually mean that. He answered with a small smile himself, confusion evident on his face. "Yeah, see you, I guess."

"Goodbye, Mrs Phantomhive, and thanks for the meal," he told her politely and walked past the woman, to where Claude already waited for him.

With a final, "Goodbye, you two", from Claude, the door closed behind them, and Ciel and his mom were alone again.

Rachel just hummed to herself happily, as if mentally gone. "Isn't Claude just handsome? And Sebastian, such a polite young man, exactly how I imagine your friends to be, it's not so common for boys your age to actually have some manners."

Ciel just stood there, his mouth almost hanging open in disbelief. 'What?' was the only thing, he had on his mind, at the moment.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Mom, I'm tired, I'm going to sleep," he answered, changing the subject easily. She smiled and nodded, it wasn't uncommon for Ciel to sleep during the day, since he had trouble falling asleep at night, usually. He refused to see a doctor, though. And Ciel noticed, once again, how his mother seemed to smile more, since Claude was with her, even though Ciel didn't quiet understand how such a human would make anyone that happy. "But don't forget to brush your teeth, sweetie," she said and with that, went off to her own room.

For the rest of the day, Ciel's mind was blank. Until he laid in his bed, that is. Which was half an hour later. That was when one thought forced itself into his mind. It must have been the heavy cigarette smoke odor, that despite he had opened his windows for a few minutes, hadn't faded away, but for some reason, Ciel thought of Sebastian and his behavior until he fell asleep. And it always took him a few hours to actually fall asleep...


End file.
